This. Thought. Is. Absolutely. Terrifying.
So in an attempt to 'recapture' shall I say, my youth I decided to read back on some of my old blog posts. And I think its safe to say that I was the worlds most unstereotypical teenager EVER. I mean, sure, I was trying to 'figure myself out and who my real friends were' (of which, may I add, I know are real now), but I think I really did figure out some pretty serious stuff that I had actually forgotten about.
I'm a much better judge of character now. I noticed that I mentioned this "1 true friend who I could tell EVERYTHING to" back then, and let me tell you that she didn't turn out to be who I thought she was. She was pulling the wool over my eyes. But im not going to go into that again, because I am well and truly over her.
I was also hung up on my feelings towards this one guy. Truth be told, I still don't know if I liked him seriously, but I'm guessing that it was probably just a crush. I don't talk to him as much anymore, which makes me sad because I do miss him but I guess there's a time to move on and that time is now.
There was also that massive thing in my life called STRESS. Yeah, that still most certainly has not disappeared and I'm still not great at dealing with it, but at least im still trying. I wont give up on trying to stop the stress ball from rolling down the hill.
The final thing is the lack of knowledge in the feelings department. so basically just never knowing what im really feeling. I guess this has gotten better but I will still confuse myself every now and then. But again, this is something that im still working on.
I admire 15 year old Emily. She was wise at times and she knew she had issues that needed fixing and in some ways she was better at coping than I am right now. And because of her, I'm not as scared of the future anymore. I can make friends. I can be confident. I can achieve. I can be myself. Above all of that, I can cope. Through everything that has been thrown at me (sometimes literally thrown) I made it out intact, not unscathed, but together nonetheless, and when im older ill look back on this blog again, and I will have changed even more. Achieved more. Made more friends. Become more confident. Thank you Emily, for knowing who you are.
Here's to the future eh?
Bub-bye for now bloggers<3
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