Confidence boost.

So, I've been thinking a lot about feelings, people and memories and i was thinking that i could have change so many things that could have made the present so much better than it already is. 
I've also been getting to know new people, which is usually hard for me to do because im not very forthcoming or open to change, but i realised how it easy was to do and that i shouldn't be scared of it. This has now opened up so many doors for me and like the title of this post has suggested, i've now had a confidence boost because of this. I guess people make new friends for happiness and a sense of belonging, but ive found i've never really belonged or fit into any group so i guess i make friends because im scared of being alone. Scared of what i would do without guidance or support. I'm weak, that's all. I have made this my next stepping stone to independence, to individuality and stability. I am the one in control of my future. I am the one who has to put in the time and effort to reach my goals and if i don't try, i don't move forward. I don't think many people realise this when they moan about how school is boring or useless. Do they not have goals for life? Not even a small one like to build a stable family? Appreciation. We are deprived of this because of our upbringing in todays society. We are offered soo many luxuries and opportunities that we take for granted. I wish we could just have eternal happiness and appreciation for both the big and small things in our lives...
I saw a bird in my back garden today finding twigs and moss to build a nest with and it made me think of whether i will have a family of my own. I've always known what career i wanted and the kind of house and environment i wanted but i've never imagined anyone else in the picture. No one else watching telly in the front room. No one else playing with 10 dogs in the back garden. No one. Yet i'm scared of being alone? I guess i'm just not that optimistic, well i'll see what happens then shall i?

I like to think this everyday...