What am i thinking?

Ok, so i haven't posted in a while plainly because i have nothing of importance to write about so i'm going to figure out what's going on in my head and get back to you on that. I think i'll do this over coffee :)





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So at what point in a friendship between a guy and a girl does it become more than friendship? I guess that's what i've been thinking about recently...This kind of thing has never really bothered me before as i always found it easier to get on with guys so i never thought anything more about it, but with teenage hormones come teenage thoughts and feelings getting in the way -_- But surely when a person is in your mind 24/7 that means something...
I don't know, maybe i'll figure it out soon but for now i can't quite make sense of what i'm feeling. Damn, why are feelings soo hard to decipher in my head? 

Bub-bye bloggers :)

Have you ever felt like this?

Everything works out in the end

I know...

I just love these little quotes...

These are all soo true...

I should hope soo....one more?

:)

Life= dull

Well. Mental crisis averted. I thought everyone have completely forgotten about me as i had no messages on facebook, twitter or my phone and i felt the loneliest i had ever been in a while. Even everyone at home either had work or school. It sucked. I had no communication with anyone and had that constant feeling that talking to anyone would just annoy them. But here's the funny part; My phone had crashed and wasn't receiving or sending any messages...so when i rebooted my phone and found 5 new messages, it restored my faith of some friendships i have. 
I try not to think too deeply about the silly things that my friends do that they don't realise hurt my feelings, because i think i'm just being a silly self-centered little child. But i can't help it sometimes. When your friends forget to invite you to something or don't wait just a few minutes more for you or don't realise that you're feeling down, it hurts. I tell myself that "i should get used to it again. You put up with it for 10 years of education, you can put up with 2 more...", but it's harder this time because i thought this group would be different. No. These are just the same as every other freakin' year of my life.
So i've decided that i can't wait to make new friends in college and see if they might appreciate me more. Don't get me wrong i do have 2 close friends that do stick by me, but they have other friends that i can't really fit in with and i don't expect them to stick around just for me but i know they care none the less, and i do love them for that.
I feel like i've done nothing but moan on here. Sorry. Also, apologies that i haven't been posting as regularly as i did before, i don't really have an excuse for it, i just haven't had anything to write about to be honest...

Bub-bye for now bloggers.

I'm not pushing you out i swear i just can't open up without it hurting and as much as you think you can, you can't stop the pain. Sorry.

my bad...

I cant help it...

Prom.

I guess ignorance is bliss...

Warning: This blog will be full of sadness so, if you're upset easily, i don't recommend reading this post.

Recently our rottweiler, shadow (8), has been in a bit of pain: yelping when she sat up from the lying position, being very sluggish in her movements and not eating properly. We put this down to her hip dysplasia, which is very common in rottweilers and she had pretty much suffered with this for most of her little doggy life. But it became obvious that that was not what was wrong with her as she was also having difficulty breathing, which was reinforced by the fact that we had found a lump growing in her neck...this is when I knew there was no going back to normal.
She was taken to the vets today by my dad, after spending pretty much the whole day lying on my bed, and both of us was expecting the worst and i had spent half an hour by the window, crying, not expecting her to come back with my dad. I thought that i'd seen her for the last time.
About that time, my dad arrived home. With Shadow. The widest grin was set on my face before i saw the grim one on my dad. When they got inside, my dad, choking on tears, told us she wouldn't be coming home again, when he took her to the vets tomorrow morning, so we need to make this evening count. She has a cancerous tumor, fluid in her lungs and a weak heartbeat.
It's taken me a while to build the courage to depart from her side to write this post, as i feel this is both beneficial to me and her mentally. Me, because i needed to get this off of my chest and cry a little...ok a LOT. Her, because she doesn't know what's happening...she doesn't know that she won't see us again after tomorrow morning...won't go camping with us this summer and chase stones on the beach till she's knackered...
But i think that's for the best. For her, like the title says, ignorance is bliss, because soon she will not be in pain, soon she will be able to see xena (our old dog) again, she will be much happier then. It's times like these that i wish i believed in heaven, so one day i may be able to see her again...
I'm going to go now because while i'm typing this, i'm crying and i'm beginning to lose sight of the keyboard and the screen so for now....
 
Bub-bye bloggers :'(

I love you Shadow, forever and always...</3

Caring

Ok. So today i have found that there are 2 types of "caring" people. 
The first one is the ones who only care when something bad is happening or when it's asked of them. These kinds of people will really nice and take some involvement in your life, but when it comes to supporting and caring for that person from day to day, it doesn't really happen. Even when they do decide to take notice in the issues in your life, they still won't be fully focused on you when you need it the most. Despite the fact that i have many of these kinds of people in my life, i still appreciate and admire the fact that they at least try to make an effort.
The second one is the people who care constantly. The ones who take an interest into everything you do, everything you feel-even the smaller things. They dont pretend to care, they genuinely care and they are pretty much always involved in your life, not just now and then. These people can care without you even asking or showing that you need someone there for you, they just know and they're always there when you need them and even when you dont, but they still somehow make a good day even better. I'm lucky enough to have someone like this in my life.  I hope that i am one of these people too.
Since i finished high school, my social life as pretty much taken a dive off of a cliff, hitting trees, boulders and water on the way down and ive been pretty secluded from my friends apart from the 2 or 3 times ive seen them and even then we were having EXAMS -_- But this 1 person has kept in contact with me since day 1 of leaving school and i cant express how much i appreciate that, because i feel like for the first time someone actually wants to talk to me rather than me feeling like the irritating one that wont go away.
Ok i feel like that was a suitably long rant for today, im sorry you had to endure that...
Bub-bye bloggers :)

I agree...

I hope someone in my life does this and i love Winnie the Pooh :)