Stay strong.

Twice in one day? I hear you say...yes, but this is something I really needed to vent about and I don't know how this is going to conclude but I hope I make a bit more sense of my head by the end of this.

Stay strong... this is a phrase I've heard since Demi Lovato came out of rehab...it sounds silly but I obsessed over this phrase. It became part of me. It came to me during a time of struggle, what with puberty and everything. But instead of finding the strength within myself as the phrase implies, I took strength from the phrase itself and used it as a shield...an excuse not to feel what I was truly feeling. A mask. To this day, everytime I take a shower I still feel the need to trace to saying into the steam on the shower door, to serve as a reminder not to be weak.

But what's so wrong with that? What's so wrong about showing weakness? What's so wrong about showing that you are human? 

I realised this today, watching a youtube video in which she told me to "stay strong" and that's when it clicked in my head. Sometimes I don't have to be strong because I am not invincible. None of us are. But we like to think we are, but we're all living a delusion. Sure, if we gave up stength we would be wasting our lives wallowing in our own grief and troubles and that is no life to live. But that isnt what I'm saying. 

I'm saying we need to be human. Allow ourselves to be weak sometimes. Because sooner or later our minds crack. It's all part of mental illness. I just wished I had realised this sooner.

Bub-bye for now bloggers <3

Just some food for thought...