Tuesday 24 November 2015

Yet another damn feelings post...

It's a running theme on this blog, that I assume no one reads but me, that I am utterly useless when it comes to feelings. I never know what emotion is filling my head and making me act the way I do and I sometimes never know what or how to feel about someone, and I've lived like this my whole life.
No joke.
It's only recently I've figured out who my best friends are and who I need in my life, rather than who do I need to look after...anyways. All of these thoughts have resurfaced since I've met this guy. Now I know I spoke about my high school/college crush I had for like 3 years on this blog, and I'm pretty certain that he was perfect for me, but I had to move on because he found a girl who was perfect for him; a girl I can definitely agree better suited him than me. My point about him was that eventually after the second year of knowing him, I was certain my feelings were close to that of love. Sure, that's probably pretty presumptuous considering I never dated him but just let me have this one. So, moving onto current time. I've met a guy I really like. In fact his personality is similar to that of the last guy, but obviously this is different and I'm not trying to replace the first guy. BUT, here's the thing: I have no idea what to feel right now. I DO know I'm terrified. We've both admitted we like each other and he knows I'm not good with feelings, but I don't think he understands the full extent to which this goes. I guess I'm scared that he'll get bored of waiting for me to figure it out and move on, but in a way I think we're in the same position. I just don't want to hurt him.

I will not let him be hurt by my naivety.
I just need to take things slow...because that's just how long it takes for me to feel. It sucks I know, but I don't want to give up quite yet. I don't want to run away.
Please don't let me run away.


Bub-bye for now bloggers <3

couldn't really put it better myself...