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Friday 28 June 2013
Friday 14 June 2013
I guess ignorance is bliss...
Warning: This blog will be full of sadness so, if you're upset easily, i don't recommend reading this post.
Recently our rottweiler, shadow (8), has been in a bit of pain: yelping when she sat up from the lying position, being very sluggish in her movements and not eating properly. We put this down to her hip dysplasia, which is very common in rottweilers and she had pretty much suffered with this for most of her little doggy life. But it became obvious that that was not what was wrong with her as she was also having difficulty breathing, which was reinforced by the fact that we had found a lump growing in her neck...this is when I knew there was no going back to normal.
She was taken to the vets today by my dad, after spending pretty much the whole day lying on my bed, and both of us was expecting the worst and i had spent half an hour by the window, crying, not expecting her to come back with my dad. I thought that i'd seen her for the last time.
About that time, my dad arrived home. With Shadow. The widest grin was set on my face before i saw the grim one on my dad. When they got inside, my dad, choking on tears, told us she wouldn't be coming home again, when he took her to the vets tomorrow morning, so we need to make this evening count. She has a cancerous tumor, fluid in her lungs and a weak heartbeat.
It's taken me a while to build the courage to depart from her side to write this post, as i feel this is both beneficial to me and her mentally. Me, because i needed to get this off of my chest and cry a little...ok a LOT. Her, because she doesn't know what's happening...she doesn't know that she won't see us again after tomorrow morning...won't go camping with us this summer and chase stones on the beach till she's knackered...
But i think that's for the best. For her, like the title says, ignorance is bliss, because soon she will not be in pain, soon she will be able to see xena (our old dog) again, she will be much happier then. It's times like these that i wish i believed in heaven, so one day i may be able to see her again...
I'm going to go now because while i'm typing this, i'm crying and i'm beginning to lose sight of the keyboard and the screen so for now....
Bub-bye bloggers :'(
Recently our rottweiler, shadow (8), has been in a bit of pain: yelping when she sat up from the lying position, being very sluggish in her movements and not eating properly. We put this down to her hip dysplasia, which is very common in rottweilers and she had pretty much suffered with this for most of her little doggy life. But it became obvious that that was not what was wrong with her as she was also having difficulty breathing, which was reinforced by the fact that we had found a lump growing in her neck...this is when I knew there was no going back to normal.
She was taken to the vets today by my dad, after spending pretty much the whole day lying on my bed, and both of us was expecting the worst and i had spent half an hour by the window, crying, not expecting her to come back with my dad. I thought that i'd seen her for the last time.
About that time, my dad arrived home. With Shadow. The widest grin was set on my face before i saw the grim one on my dad. When they got inside, my dad, choking on tears, told us she wouldn't be coming home again, when he took her to the vets tomorrow morning, so we need to make this evening count. She has a cancerous tumor, fluid in her lungs and a weak heartbeat.
It's taken me a while to build the courage to depart from her side to write this post, as i feel this is both beneficial to me and her mentally. Me, because i needed to get this off of my chest and cry a little...ok a LOT. Her, because she doesn't know what's happening...she doesn't know that she won't see us again after tomorrow morning...won't go camping with us this summer and chase stones on the beach till she's knackered...
But i think that's for the best. For her, like the title says, ignorance is bliss, because soon she will not be in pain, soon she will be able to see xena (our old dog) again, she will be much happier then. It's times like these that i wish i believed in heaven, so one day i may be able to see her again...
I'm going to go now because while i'm typing this, i'm crying and i'm beginning to lose sight of the keyboard and the screen so for now....
Bub-bye bloggers :'(
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I love you Shadow, forever and always...</3 |
Saturday 8 June 2013
Caring
Ok. So today i have found that there are 2 types of "caring" people.
The first one is the ones who only care when something bad is happening or when it's asked of them. These kinds of people will really nice and take some involvement in your life, but when it comes to supporting and caring for that person from day to day, it doesn't really happen. Even when they do decide to take notice in the issues in your life, they still won't be fully focused on you when you need it the most. Despite the fact that i have many of these kinds of people in my life, i still appreciate and admire the fact that they at least try to make an effort.
The second one is the people who care constantly. The ones who take an interest into everything you do, everything you feel-even the smaller things. They dont pretend to care, they genuinely care and they are pretty much always involved in your life, not just now and then. These people can care without you even asking or showing that you need someone there for you, they just know and they're always there when you need them and even when you dont, but they still somehow make a good day even better. I'm lucky enough to have someone like this in my life. I hope that i am one of these people too.
Since i finished high school, my social life as pretty much taken a dive off of a cliff, hitting trees, boulders and water on the way down and ive been pretty secluded from my friends apart from the 2 or 3 times ive seen them and even then we were having EXAMS -_- But this 1 person has kept in contact with me since day 1 of leaving school and i cant express how much i appreciate that, because i feel like for the first time someone actually wants to talk to me rather than me feeling like the irritating one that wont go away.
Ok i feel like that was a suitably long rant for today, im sorry you had to endure that...
Bub-bye bloggers :)
The first one is the ones who only care when something bad is happening or when it's asked of them. These kinds of people will really nice and take some involvement in your life, but when it comes to supporting and caring for that person from day to day, it doesn't really happen. Even when they do decide to take notice in the issues in your life, they still won't be fully focused on you when you need it the most. Despite the fact that i have many of these kinds of people in my life, i still appreciate and admire the fact that they at least try to make an effort.
The second one is the people who care constantly. The ones who take an interest into everything you do, everything you feel-even the smaller things. They dont pretend to care, they genuinely care and they are pretty much always involved in your life, not just now and then. These people can care without you even asking or showing that you need someone there for you, they just know and they're always there when you need them and even when you dont, but they still somehow make a good day even better. I'm lucky enough to have someone like this in my life. I hope that i am one of these people too.
Since i finished high school, my social life as pretty much taken a dive off of a cliff, hitting trees, boulders and water on the way down and ive been pretty secluded from my friends apart from the 2 or 3 times ive seen them and even then we were having EXAMS -_- But this 1 person has kept in contact with me since day 1 of leaving school and i cant express how much i appreciate that, because i feel like for the first time someone actually wants to talk to me rather than me feeling like the irritating one that wont go away.
Ok i feel like that was a suitably long rant for today, im sorry you had to endure that...
Bub-bye bloggers :)
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| I agree... |
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| I hope someone in my life does this and i love Winnie the Pooh :) |
Damn...
First of all i want to apologise greatly for not posting in a couple of weeks, but this would be because i have had many exams but now i only have 2 left so i thought i would post for the first time in ages...oops.
So far i've been feeling good after each exam but im particularly nervous for this upcoming exam i have soon as it's geography and i absolutely hate it...but hey its only geography. I hate myself a little bit more everytime i say 'hey it's only...' because i know thats not the right mentality to have but its the only way i can cope with all the stress and if i dont think like that i end up breaking down and doing nothing at all to revise...
Anyway, im not so sure what to write about today so i think i shall just tell you my worries because i feel the need to say them out loud...well written really...damn technicalities. Ok. Well one of them is college. Part of me is really excited because i get to do what i want (subject-wise) i get to meet new people and take one more step forward in life and reaching my goals, but on the other hand im scared. I feel like im in year 6 again moving up to high school: intimidated, nervous...petrified even. What if i mess everything up? again...
Another worry of mine is all this spare time i have. Im not very good with time management and recently i've had a lot of time alone with my own thoughts and thats never really good for me. But i wont go to deeply into that because i dont particularly want to think negatively today...
So. Right now im going to listen to the DEMI album that im kind of addicted to at the moment and wrap birthday presents. I didnt realise there were soo many birthdays in June...
So i'll leave you with this picture that may or may not brighten your day, it certainly made mine better ;)
Bub-bye bloggers :)
So far i've been feeling good after each exam but im particularly nervous for this upcoming exam i have soon as it's geography and i absolutely hate it...but hey its only geography. I hate myself a little bit more everytime i say 'hey it's only...' because i know thats not the right mentality to have but its the only way i can cope with all the stress and if i dont think like that i end up breaking down and doing nothing at all to revise...
Anyway, im not so sure what to write about today so i think i shall just tell you my worries because i feel the need to say them out loud...well written really...damn technicalities. Ok. Well one of them is college. Part of me is really excited because i get to do what i want (subject-wise) i get to meet new people and take one more step forward in life and reaching my goals, but on the other hand im scared. I feel like im in year 6 again moving up to high school: intimidated, nervous...petrified even. What if i mess everything up? again...
Another worry of mine is all this spare time i have. Im not very good with time management and recently i've had a lot of time alone with my own thoughts and thats never really good for me. But i wont go to deeply into that because i dont particularly want to think negatively today...
So. Right now im going to listen to the DEMI album that im kind of addicted to at the moment and wrap birthday presents. I didnt realise there were soo many birthdays in June...
So i'll leave you with this picture that may or may not brighten your day, it certainly made mine better ;)
Bub-bye bloggers :)
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| If you don't know where or who this is from then im sorry but you have had a very deprived life... |
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