Fever

The boiling anger that resides in me, simmers just below the surface.

Threatening to tear down the barriers, my icy coolness takes over.

Better to hide my feelings then upset others with my opinions.

I hate hurting people, but I wish they would accept me for who I am.

But I can’t expect them to accept me if they don’t know who I am.

The idea of opening up

Brings that fever again.

replace you with i

Endings.

I always find endings dissatisfying. Even the most wonderful, horrific, perfect, disgusting, truthful, perilous endings just make me feel numb.
The concept of an ending brings a numb feeling with a tinge of awareness.
The end of the year. The end of a book. The end of a school year. The end of a film. The end of a tub of ice cream. 
Its as if my mind doesn't accept the concept. In a perpetual state of denial. 

It's both a blessing and a curse. 

Blessing: I dont suffer the same mourning process that involves crying and/or reminiscing the events of the past.
Curse: I eventually come to terms with it a couple of weeks later, and by that time everyone else is over it and im left to cope on my own. 

Blessing: I can have a non-biased view and opinion on things that others may feel passionately opinionated on. A open mind.
Curse: It means i am susceptible to manipulation. Something i have been victim to from 'friends'...memories i try to supress.

Blessing: I can provide empathy and support to others who need it.
Curse: No one is there for me when i need it, because it comes too late and sucluded from the eyes of onlookers.

I think this all came about from me finishing college. I have this sense of disbelief. Im not too sure what to feel, and i dont think it will dawn on me for quite a while.

Bub-bye for now bloggers.<3

honestly one of my favourite quotes ever...ive probably already posted this before but whatever. I wont care if you dont.

Nearing the end.

So it's nearly over. College. Only 2 years of my life, but it felt like forever.

I am scared though, of the next stage. University.

Although, on the plus side I get to have a relaxing care-free summer for the first time in 4/5 years.

That's it. I'm scared, excited, relieved, worried. I'm just a big mix of emotions right now.

Anyways bub-bye for now bloggers<3

I love metaphors.

Pushing Limits.

There are times where I decide I should reach outside of my comfort zone and I've always been proud of me doing so. However, a couple months ago my parents decided, not me, that I needed to start driving lessons and I will be honest, this is one of the things that has always petrified me. I have always been more of a biker girl.

But after about 10-12 lessons my confidence went up slightly because I was doing well and dare I say, enjoying the drive. But for the last 2 weeks I have had to miss lessons because of exams and my holiday, so the other getting into the car was like I was back at the beginning again. My confidence was gone. I felt like I had just taken a massive step back from my confident steps forward.

I have another lesson at 1pm today. I keep telling myself that its going to be fine, but my mind works in weird ways and I don't know how to tame the nerves anymore. Being in the midst of exam season too isn't helping much seeing as im trying to balance revision for 7 exams.

But I'll be fine right? yeah...I'll be fine...

Bub-bye for now bloggers.

guess I have to try this out...

Hope.

What does that mean to you?

Trying your best.
Letting faith decide your path.
Burning out just to get the best results.
Holding onto a single thread.
Not swaying from your choices.
Making other options available.

To me, hope is useless. Trust in yourself and your abilities is what you need.

Personally, I believe that great results is proportional to great effort and efficiency.

That's my plan. What's yours?

Bub-bye for now bloggers :)

truth.

Its that time again.

So...im nearly 18.
Nearly an adult.
I'm just going to let that sink in for a second...

ARGHHHH!

Where did the time go? Why is the world so cruel? I wish it hadn't have come so quickly.

But on a serious note, I can tell that I am nearly an adult. I have; driving lessons, final exams, uni applications, a bank account and a job possibly....
This is some scary stuff...but I'm looking forward to another great exciting year of life. This time last year I did a general picture post and its one of my most viewed posts so I guess I thought I would do that again and see what happens.

Bub-bye for now bloggers<3



I really like this one...

this is quite morbid to be fair but it did open my eyes...

goals.

I feel like ive posted this before...xD

hmmm....

Last one<3



life motto.

Love you guys...wish me luck for the big ol' 18 ;)

And so it begins...

I have these phases where I am super motivated...Recently has been one of those phases. Its now 2 months till the first of my final exams and i'm thinking you may have some soon too so I want to share some quotes that help motivate me at these times.

this is a big thing for me...I push myself so hard and the results are soo rewarding and worthwhile...

pretty self explanatory...stop procrastinating!

omg yes don't complain if you didn't put any freakin' effort in...

do NOT be afraid to fail...its only human and you can LEARN  from your mistakes...don't let it knock you down

you may hate it now, but it will honestly be so rewarding, and I don't know about you, but I cant wait c:

I hope this helped in some way, and if you are stressed out with exam revision, let me tell you know...
It's going to be okay, you can only try your best and I believe in YOU :)

Bub-bye for now bloggers<3