But whilst im on the topic of school, i've found myself panicking alot recently because i know now that i have got only 29 days of school left and then i get my exam results in the summer. I'm scared to be perfectly honest. I'm scared that ill mess my exams up and get bad results and the last 2 years of highschool would have been for nothing... But i've been told otherwise and i'm trying to build my confidence up again. I mean if everyone else an do it, why can't i? right?
It's also my birthday, a week from tomorrow and to be fair, i'm not looking forward to it at all...I turn 16. Probably one of the most important years of your life. You chose you college options, you start to contemplate part time jobs to save for university fees, or in my case you start to think of motorbike/driving tests. I just find it all a bit daunting and intimidating. Its all just come at once, so its overwhelming and i honestly cant tell where to start.
I'm worried i'm going to mess my life up before its even begun, but then the rational part of my brain tell me im being silly, but i can't help but listen to that little patronising voice in the back of my mind saying that i can't. It's too loud to ignore now. Life is getting to intense and complex and i really wish i didnt have to think about it all right now. If im being blunt here, i never thought i'd get this far in one piece. I thought maybe i would be sitting in the corner of a cushioned room rocking back and forth because of the intensity of it all. Yet here i am. Still battling through, like the soldier i want to be.
I guess, in the end, i hope all of this work is worthwhile.
You know whats coming now if you've read my other posts, so it needs no introduction. Bub-bye bloggers.
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| this is what i feel like sometimes... |
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| but this is what i'm going to learn to do... |
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